Wednesday's Word – Insecure
Anyone out there ever felt insecure? Hello? Any hands going up?
Well, I have. In fact I have struggled with it my whole life.
I came into this world as an accident, later than my siblings –
by as much as 20 years.
I was born a worrier. That’s what they called it back then. Now they have
big names for it and a whole array of medications!
As you can tell – by the time I was 2 years old I had the worry thing down
to a science. At this point I am pretty sure I was worried about all the bobby pins
stuck in my head. They were called pin curls, and for those of you to young to know
go here to learn how to create them.
Here I am taking a bath with my 2 nephews – yep, all of my nieces and nephews
are close to my age. It is hard to look like that secure aunt that has it all together
when you are sitting in a bathtub. Not a great role model position.
As I moved into my teen years my insecurity increased, and I had to find subtle ways to make myself
seem big and tough even when inside I wasn’t feeling that -
Oh yeah – I am all about that subtle thing.
Then after I got married, in my 20′s I went through a time
of trying to find my own identity -
I call that my Princess Di period.
I started to come into myself in my late 20′s when I discovered that
my hair could not only give me security - it could even warrant it’s own zip code.
See how my husband is leaning away from the hair? It was like a force field that pulled
you in if you got to close to it. Good times..
Then I hit my 30′s -
Here I am at 31 pregnant with my last child. See how I am holding up 5 fingers
to indicate how far along I am? I was always creative like that. Notice the
hair is still big, but a little more subdued so as not to detract from the baby bump.
Now I am in my 40s – and I feel a great need to show you current pictures of me -
here is one of my infamous “self-portraits”
And here is one from Christmas that has my Mother, Mother-in-law, and 2 daughters in it.
Oh, and me! I am the one in the back in red – no, the older one..
This trip down memory lane really does have a point. I am ready to exit my 40s
and enter the half century decade in a month. And I thought I would be done
with insecurity by this age! Nope, nada, uh uh..
I just bought a book last week written by Beth Moore. For those of you that
have not heard of her, she is Christian author and speaker. She has written
some amazing books and has lots of DVD’s out of her studies. She is beautiful,
intelligent, skinny, and incredibly funny. And she is also very insecure.
She has written a new book – and she drew alot of her material from the women (and some men)
who follow her blog. So this really is a great book for bloggers! And she is going to do
an online study of it, and all of us can join in! Here is the book:
And here is an excerpt defining insecurity.
She goes on to say if you feel this way on a regular basis, you are like
a million other women out there. And we don’t have to feel that way!
I have only read a couple of chapters, but I could immediatly relate to
the things she was saying. So if you ever have those insecure feelings – the one
that really jumped out at me was “How do you feel if someone doesn’t like you? Does
it break your heart?” Yes it does! But if you don’t feel that, you
may struggle with other things that she talks about.
I just wanted to share this with my friends in blogland – here is her website
if you would like more information. Thanks for listening, and no downloading
of the pictures I posted for future blackmail plans…….
I am linking this post up with
Melissa
827 days ago
I sooooo remember that big fan on the wall!!
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Cindy Conner
827 days ago
This is so cute! Love all the pictures. Yep, got a few of them “big hair day pics” too! Ha! I entered the “next century” last year! In about a week I will be past the new century! Oh my! Love Beth Moore too. Have taught almost all of her studies! Teaching her Ester right now! Thanks for sharing about new book. I have heared about it. Have a bless day. Cindy
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Jan
827 days ago
The first picture of you (with pin-curls)? I distinctly remember you being in that same outfit (probably the same day) standing with your knees locked, your arms locked, your mouth wide open and your face red because you were throwing one of your temper tantrums – you know, the ones where you passed out because you held your breath? Holy cow! I thought you were an alien or something! I was always so inward with my feelings. If I was upset, I would likely go someplace quietly and cry all alone. I hafta say, “insecure” isn’t really what I would have described you – you were definately an “in your face” sort of child during that time-frame. It was probably a whole lot of life events that lead you down the insecurity road – lots of uphill climbs. And alas, now 50 is staring you down, and you will simply put on your big girl pants (or panties) and stare back with all you’ve got!! These have been some of the best years of my life…….I hope you’ll find that to be true for you too.
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Suzy
826 days ago
Sharyl, I just love you. You have always been a blessing to me in my life. I miss sharing my faith with you and listening to yours. I’m glad that you are still out there trying to get it right too. When you do, please share!
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Taylor
826 days ago
I love all the pictures! Nice post!
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