Drama in the Dressing Room – True Confessions…
Do you ever have those times in your life when you know you are acting
stupid but you can’t stop yourself? Me either..
Ok, so maybe I do.
I want to tell you a story about a day like that I had last week.
It happened when I walked into the jean store…
You know the ones, where the jeans cost the same as a Playstation 3?
I had been given a gift card to this store for my birthday. I don’t want to name
the store, lets just say it rhymes with… Knuckle..
I was so excited about the gift card because it was a chance to really splurge
on myself and not spend my own money!
So I pulled up in front of this little store and walked in.
Immediately, if not sooner, I was met by a young size 0 sales girl –
we will call her Tiffani – (with an i)….
I assured her that I could find my way around the store by myself.
So she let go of me and allowed me to browse, as long as I promised
to fetch her for my jean questions.
After a few minutes of browsing, I wandered over to the back of the store ,
the “wrong side of the tracks” area where they hid the less expensive ($80) jeans.
Tiffani (with an i), was at my side in two shakes of a button fly.
“What kind of jeans are you looking for?” asked Tiff
“Mid rise stretch boot cut” answered I (with and i)
I could tell Tiff was impressed with my knowledge –
I definitely felt we were bonding.
So Tiff took me to the front of the store –
the place where the $150 jeans were
practically throwing themselves at the customers when
they walked in the door. And she
started pulling out jeans right and left and throwing out words
like “fat stitching” and “glitter backs”
I insisted on looking at the prices, and left for the dressing
room with two pair of $80 range jeans
in my hands. Now, let me tell you ladies, I don’t usually spend that on jeans.
In fact, I don’t spend that on my entire summer wardrobe.
But this was a special treat because I had… a gift card…
So I went into the dressing room, not realizing that
I was apparently sharing it with Tiff.
We were getting closer all the time...
She brought me around 19 more pairs of jeans and threw them
over the dressing room door.
She had made the jump into the 3 figure jeans –
and I am talking money not shape.
She kept saying “Just to see what you think”
Then she tricked me into giving her my shoe size –
and shoved 5 pairs of shoes under the door,
so that I could “get an idea of how the jeans looked with different heel heights”
Meanwhile, in the dressing room, I was on my second pair of jeans.
As I put my delicate size 9 foot into the leg,
my big toe caught on a “distressed” area
and ripped a hole in them.
I went ahead and pulled them on as
I was running through all the stages of
mortification, embarrassment, and shame -
and about that time Tiff, my new BFF, popped her head in.
She got a troubled look on her face and said,
“I don’t think there is supposed to be a hole in those”
“Really” I answered innocently.
Tiff said ” You know what – I bet a customer stuck
their foot in there and ripped it with their toe”
“The nerve!” I said.. ok not really.. I think I made a sad look and sighed.
Tiff said – let me go find another pair of those for you –
and took off as only a size 0 gal can do.
I am sitting in the dressing room praying.
Dear God – what am I going to do??
Pretty soon Tiff – my children’s godmother, came back and said
“I’m afraid that is the last
pair we have in the store” …
“Oh” – I responded, wowing Tiff with my depth.
So I went back into the dressing room and little
Tiff threw 5 new shirts over the door -
“Just to see” and then went for the jean capri’s.
I just stood in there wondering how I was
going to get out of this mess.
There might be a different pair of jeans I liked more,
but I couldn’t just leave
the holey ones there knowing the hole was my fault.
Darn that big toe anyway..
Then I started feeling sorry for Tiff and all the work she
was doing (poor thing)
so I took the clothes off the hangers and
pretended to try them on – you know, turning
them inside out and such…still wondering how I was getting out of this.
24 jeans, 5 pair of shoes, and 6 shirts later
I walked out of the room with the
holey jeans.. “You know what Tiff?”
I said with a charming southern accent,
(not really but it just fits so well)
I am just gonna get these jeans with the hole
in them! I am so attached to them, and I don’t mind
the hole a teensy weensy bit!
Tiff – who has now been added to my will – said
“We will just have our seamstress put a patch
on that for you – and we won’t charge you a penny cause it was our fault.”
“Oh no – I will insist on paying” I stated,
throwing my hair back and
trying to look like a big spender.
And yes, I walked out of the store with an $80 pair of holey jeans.
They really are cute though!! And every time I wear them
I will remember Tiff -
who managed to get my cell number out of me too
so she can call me when
more jeans come in to the store “Just to see”
I am pretty sure she will ask me to be in her wedding…
Go check out some more fun posts here:)
25 Comments
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Allison
751 days ago
LOVED this story. I literally did Laugh Out Loud! Thanks for sharing and I’m pretty sure you got a deal because I think “they (the Tiff’s of the world) are charging MORE for holes!
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gail
751 days ago
What a funny story! hahahah I can see Julia Louis-Dreyfus playing out this scene on her tv show! Seriously this would be great tv!
thanks for a good chuckle.
gail
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The Lumberjack's Wife
751 days ago
My favorite post of yours ever!
Delicate size 9′s! Ha! I wear size 9′s.
Loved it-too funny.
This one goes in the post hall of fame, fo’ sho’
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Laura
751 days ago
HYSTERICAL! The hubs kept asking what I was laughing about, but REALLY? could a man who wears button-downs and khakis every day to work REALLY understand?
BTW, I know you don’t know me, but if Tiffani bails on your best-friendship, can I be your new best friend?!
Thanks for the laugh — I *definitely* needed it!
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Jessy
750 days ago
Wow…I don’t think I’ll ever be shopping at that store now! Well, not that I could afford to anyway lol.
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beth anne
750 days ago
oh annoying…i used to be that girl way back when the limited was cool.
but those jeans do look good on you!
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Cindy Conner
750 days ago
This is so funny and I can only imagine the thoughts you had going on! Well one thing is for sure…you got yourself a pair of expensive HOLY jeans! Love this story. Be blessed. Cindy
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amy
750 days ago
jeans shopping is one of the worst chores a woman has in life. you made the experience into a very fun read! thank you!
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Loretta
750 days ago
That is what you get for not taking me with you or at least having me meet you. They do look great, holes and all. love ya girl
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Loretta Reply:
April 28th, 2010 at 8:47 am
BTW, what happened to the cute rain coat?
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Jan
750 days ago
Yeppers, that story is a classic – thanks for being so transparent that we get to laugh at you (well, WITH you).
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Maureen @ Cottage 960
750 days ago
What a hilarious story. And those are some great looking jeans.
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Cheri Peoples
749 days ago
That is so funny. I was laughing–I used to be a manager of a Limited–back in the day when I was a size 0–Ok maybe I was more like a 2 or 4–that was before kids. We had one lady that was like that but she was in her 40s but she was so afraid someone else would get “credit” for her sales (not commission but quota). If she would go get someone a different size etc–she made sure everyone working that night KNEW that was her person. As the manager I would walk around and check on everyone and make sure people were getting serviced and taken care of, anything they needed and she would about flip because I talked to her person–like I was going to take her sale. The problem was, while she was telling the next person her lengthy life story the other person was standing in their underwear waiting for the item she was supposed to bring them but had forgotten about because she wasn’t done with her life story with her current BFF. She talked really really loud too and she would tell everyone her life story, so everyone in the whole store, would hear it. People would walk up to the register and either LOVE her or she had DROVE THEM INSANE.
She had worked there for years, long before I was the manager there, she probably still works there. She just uses her walker now to get around.
I am signing up to follow you and hope you will do the same.
Cheri
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Debbie
749 days ago
Oh Girl- I wish I had been there with you, I would have been laughing so hard. It is so one of your shopping experiences. Can’t wait to meet Tiff:)
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Sandy@Life Began in a Garden
748 days ago
I am so uncool, I can’t think of one store that rhymes with “knuckle”! But that was great story, thanks for sharing it.
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Jaime
748 days ago
A similar thing happened to me the other day. I accidentally walked into a boutique where the least expensive shirt I looked at was 3 figures. Before I knew this, when the sales person asked me if she could help me I said, YES! I am looking for blah, blah, blah. When she started showing me stuff I can’t tell you the rediculous excuses I came up with!
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Christina
747 days ago
That really does sound like something that would happen to me. Funny story! They are cute, though.
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Erin
747 days ago
You must have one heck of a toenail girl!
funny story
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Lisa
746 days ago
hahaha! This post made me crack up! I can’t believe you ended up walking out with the holey jeans! If it were me, I would have turned for the door right when young Tiff started throwing the expensive jeans at me. The back of the store in the corner is where it’s at!
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Sandy
727 days ago
That was laugh out loud funny…although it is way to early to laugh out loud….so I just smiled loudly?
The jeans are really cute…accept for that hole…LOl….and they look REALLY cute with the shoes…did Tiff show you those?
Loved the story…it was great!!
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Mary
703 days ago
So funny!! Your post has made my day!
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Pam
587 days ago
This story is so funny – and so true!! Back in the day, before marriage and such, I went through a “muckle” phase – they’ve got THE MOST comfy jeans! I kinda dream of the day I can splurge on some more….
Anyway, I actually kinda enjoyed the “tiffani’s” of the store because I hate shopping for clothes and they always brought me the cutest outfits, already matched, leaving less work for me!! I think only once I got a little irked by the sales person because I really didn’t have time to deal with everything they kept trying to push on me – I knew what I went in for and that’s all I wanted…I do miss those days though
Still – love love love your story!!
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Jenn (GreenDoorGirl)
505 days ago
Omigosh this story is hillarious! I can so see this happening – glad you got a great pair of jeans out of it! LOL
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Christine
501 days ago
this is too funny! sounds like a great salesperson, bet she makes her (size 0) weight in commissions
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Lisa C
493 days ago
That is a great story – right up there with the one I heard at the Pursue Womens conference last year – about the lady who got stuck in her dress (zipper stuck) in the dressing room… I love knowing that I am in very good, okay, exceptional company, with all the fun shopping experiences! God Bless!
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TinaC
468 days ago
Just found your blog and have spent the last hour going over your old posts, you are so funny! I can’t believe you bought the jeans, lol! Honestly, $80 jeans shouldn’t rip so easily. It wasn’t as if you were swinging from the rafters in them. I would have unapologetically told the sales girl that they ripped when I tried them on. Of course, according to my kids I am a big embarrassment to shop with, or to be seen out in public in general with, so what do I know? LOL?
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