The Little Brown House

Drama in the Dressing Room – True Confessions…

Do you ever have those times in your life when you know you are acting

stupid but you can’t stop yourself? Me either..

Ok, so maybe I do.

I want to tell you a story about a day like that I had last week.

It happened when I walked into the jean store…

You know the ones, where the jeans cost the same as a Playstation 3?

I had been given a gift card to this store for my birthday. I don’t want to name

the store, lets just say it rhymes with… Knuckle..

I was so excited about the gift card because it was a chance to really splurge

on myself and not spend my own money! So I pulled up in front of this little store and walked in.

Immediately, if not sooner, I was met by a young size 0 sales girl – we will call her

Tiffani – (with an i)….

I assured her that I could find my way around the store by myself. So she let go of me and

allowed me to browse, as long as I promised to fetch her for my jean questions.

After a few minutes of browsing, I wandered over to the back of the store , the “wrong side of

the tracks” area where they hid the less expensive ($80) jeans.

Tiffani (with an i), was at my side in two shakes of a button fly.

“What kind of jeans are you looking for?” asked Tiff

“Mid rise stretch boot cut” answered I (with and i)

I could tell Tiff was impressed with my knowledge – I definitely  felt we were bonding.

So Tiff took me to the front of the store – the place where the $150  jeans were

practically throwing themselves at the customers when they walked in the door.  And she

started pulling out jeans right and left and throwing out words like “fat stitching” and “glitter backs”

I insisted on looking at the prices, and left for the dressing room with two pair of $80 range jeans

in my hands. Now, let me tell you ladies, I don’t usually spend that on jeans. In fact, I don’t spend

that on my entire summer wardrobe. But this was a special treat because I had… a gift card…

So I went into the dressing room, not realizing that I was apparently sharing it with Tiff.

We were getting closer all the time...

She brought me around 19 more pairs of jeans and threw them over the dressing room door.

She had made the jump into the 3 figure jeans – and I am talking money not shape.

She kept saying “Just to see what you think”

Then she tricked me into giving her my shoe size – and shoved 5 pairs of shoes under the door,

so that I could “get an idea of how the jeans looked with different heel heights”

Meanwhile, in the dressing room, I was on my second pair of jeans.

As I put my delicate size 9 foot into the leg, my big toe caught on a “distressed” area

and ripped a hole in them.

I went ahead and pulled them on as I was running through all the stages of

mortification, embarrassment, and shame -

and about that time Tiff, my new BFF, popped her head in.

She got a troubled look on her face and said,

“I don’t think there is supposed to be a hole in those”

“Really” I answered innocently.

Tiff  said ” You know what – I bet a customer stuck their foot in there and ripped it with their toe”

“The nerve!” I said.. ok not really.. I think I made a sad look and sighed.

Tiff said – let me go find another pair of those for you – and took off as only a size 0 gal can do.

I am sitting in the dressing room praying. Dear God – what am I going to do??

Pretty soon Tiff – my children’s godmother, came back and said “I’m afraid that is the last

pair we have in the store” … “Oh” – I responded, wowing Tiff with my depth.

So I went back into the dressing room and little Tiff threw 5 new shirts over the door -

“Just to see” and then went for the jean capri’s.

I just stood in there wondering how I was going to get out of this mess.

There might be a different pair of jeans I liked more, but I couldn’t just leave

the holey ones there knowing the hole was my fault. Darn that big toe anyway..

Then I started feeling sorry for Tiff and all the work she was doing (poor thing)

so I took the clothes off the hangers and pretended to try them on – you know, turning

them inside out and such…still wondering how I was getting out of this.

24 jeans, 5 pair of shoes, and 6 shirts later I walked out of the room with the

holey jeans.. “You know what Tiff?” I said with a charming southern accent,

(not really but it just fits so well) I am just gonna get these jeans with the hole

in them! I am so attached to them, and I don’t mind the hole a teensy weensy bit!

Tiff – who has now been added to my will – said “We will just have our seamstress put a patch

on that for you – and we won’t charge you a penny cause it was our fault.”

“Oh no – I will insist on paying” I stated, throwing my hair back and

trying to look like a big spender.

And yes, I walked out of the store with an $80 pair of holey jeans. They really

are cute though!! And every time I wear them I will remember Tiff -

who managed to get my cell number out of me too so she can call me when

more jeans come in to the store “Just to see”

I am pretty sure she will ask me to be in her wedding…

I am sharing this post on Talk About It Tuesday and It’s So Very Cheri

go check them out for more fun!

A Beautiful Mess

It’s So Very Cheri – Spotlight Yourself

Posted in: Just Life, Just for fun, Storytime, Uncategorized

Tags: humor, Just for fun, Storytime

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