The Great Bunion Cover Up..
I bet the name of this post totally drew you in..
Nothing like “take a look at my bunions” to cause people to pull the old “I’ve got an urgent phone call”
and turn around and run. But, I am determined to be transparent in this blog.. to a point.. So I am
going to share my deepest, darkest, ugliest secret.. Yes, I am announcing to the
entire world ( because you know they all read my blog) that I, Mrs. Little Brown House,
have a bunion problem. Bunions are those ugly bumps that grow out the side of your foot
right beside the big toe.. am I still drawing you in?? They are formed because idiot women
spend years with their size nine foot stuffed into a high pointy heel, because they think
it makes them look skinny.. at least that is what I have heard through the grapevine..
So every summer I see women of all ages flitting around in those adorable, simple, flip-flops,
and I feel a huge fire of envy rise up inside. You see, flip-flops would show my unsightly bunions.
Ok – I will show you one, but just once – and only in black and white because it is
way less scary that way. People with weak stomachs should scan past this..
(cue Psyco “EE” “EE” sound)
Those of you who threw up in your mouth a little are now excused..
Ok – so that pic doesn’t make them look so bad – I will show you another one later.
(That is meant to entice you to read all the way to the end of the post. Let me know if it worked..)
So today I decided to try and make flip-flops that would work for me.. As you get older
you learn that a lot of making yourself look good involves hiding or disguising things..
If you aren’t there yet I know you won’t believe me.. but it is coming
So here are some cute little white flops. They even have a tiny platform because I am still
a believer in the whole “Tall equals Thin” fantasy. Please don’t take it away from me.
I decided to use some black ribbon and a pair of broken earrings for my masterpiece.
You could just as easily do this with buttons, or flowers, or clips – use your imagination!
In fact – you could even do this if you don’t have bunions to hide and just like a cute flip-flop!
I began by tying a knot in the ribbon, onto one side of the rubber strap.
Can you honestly believe I am doing a tutorial on how to tie a bow?
Then the bunny goes under the tree and through the hole – or something like that..
So – you have a bow. Be sure it is on the same side as your bunion… I didn’t the first time.
Yep, I have obviously put one to many bunnies under the tree…
(if you figure out what that means, please share)
Now – for the exciting part!!!
I brought out the infamous
Which I first encountered in my Diy ring making post. You can read about it here:
I put some of the glue on the back of my earring. I think any kind of glue would work – even a hot glue gun.
Just an FYI – this glue has life threatening properties, as described on back in .05 size font..
I clamped the button to the bow as I let the glue dry.
Are these not the most adorable clamps you have ever seen! I got them at Home Depot
for .40 each! Why is everything so much cuter in miniature? Now I am looking for a mini
drill and nail gun to complete my set.
As promised – here is a picture of both my bunions – unretouched.. and my feet are even a little
swollen from my high blood pressure meds. ….
Oh my goodness just shoot me now….
So – here is the debut of my yucky bunion infested feet hidden behind
my new “Bunions Be Gone” fip-flops –
So tell me the truth,
and I am asking for extreme, unbridled, honesty here –
And I know my readers will give it to me..
Don’t you wish your Grandma was hot like me?